I have my colonoscopy scheduled for Monday. Yesterday I was trying to remember the name of the stuff to buy for the prep so I could pick it up at the drugstore. I Googled "colonoscopy prep" and lots of helpful info came up. I found what I was looking for but I also found something else, mentioned on page after webpage that I feel I must address. Time after time I found the same piece of information being disseminated about colonoscopies and I have to say, I just don't agree.
Now, let me preface this by saying that I don't mean to be a troublemaker. "God save the queen", "if it doesn't fit you must acquit" and "mission accomplished" -- I agree 100% with all of that. I'm not looking to be an iconoclast nor do I want to cause any kind of upheaval in generally accepted groupthink, but I feel that I must correct what I see to be a major fallacy in the description of colonoscopies. I will also qualify this by saying that I have only ever has *one* colonoscopy, so it could be that I don't yet have enough experience with them to make this kind of blanket statement, but here goes anyway...
Almost all of the literature I have read about colonoscopies agrees on one fact -- the prep is the worst part of the procedure. Now, I will agree, the prep is *really* bad. You have to drink a chalky, vile liquid that induces what can only be likened to a bad case of food poisoning. But (and again I don't mean to start any kind of trouble here) I feel that the absolute worst part of colonoscopies is the part where they tell you that you have cancer. Now, before you dismiss my assertion out of hand, please finish listening to what I have to say. Firstly, the prep only lasts for one night and the treatment for the cancer lasts for about a year. Also, as a part of the treatment, you must do the prep *again* a few weeks later before the colectomy surgery. Secondly, within 24 hours after the prep, you look and feel the same as before: no scars, no hair loss, no pallid complexion. I *still* can't get that pesky 10 inch surgery scar to clear up. It's really annoying. And finally, while the prep is unpleasant, it can't kill you. You may feel like you want to die after spending 10 hours on the toilet, reading the same Sundance catalog for the 50th time, but you won't actually die. Cancer can, and indeed does, kill people.
So that's my stance. I am going to stick with it until someone can convince me otherwise. Since this is an interactive blog, I know some of you may feel compelled to write in and disagree. You are welcome to do so. This is America and, last time I checked, we are all allowed to have an opinion. But I stand firm -- the worst part of a colonoscopy is being told you have cancer.