Tuesday, July 17, 2007

"Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

For your next sensitivity training seminar: How *not* to respond when someone tells you they have cancer.

Me: I just finished chemo for cancer.
Well-Intentioned Man on Phone (W.I.M.P.): Oh, I'm so sorry. My dad died of cancer.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm only 34, so I'm hoping that doesn't happen.
W.I.M.P.: Wow! You're young!
Me: Yes, I know.
W.I.M.P. : I hope you'll be okay.
Me: Thanks.

In case any of you out there are unaware, I already know that people die of cancer. In fact, I plugged in my details to an algorithm on the Internet and I know that I have a 17% chance of dying of cancer in the next five years. So, next time you run into someone who tells you of their diagnosis, perhaps your father's death is not the most comforting thing you could mention.

Just a suggestion, of course. ;-)

15 comments:

ed said...

You rock. Really. :)

Anonymous said...

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

This is a very inspirational exchange, buried within the humor of the moment and the entire movie. We need to live life fully, through all the tragicomedy it sends our way.

Spencer Douglas said...

so let's see...

17% is half of 34, which is your age, so that means you have half the chance of that 17%, or 8.5%, which is the number of planets in our solar system, since Pluto is no longer a full-fledged planet, and since Pluto was the only Disney character that couldn't talk, or at least utter some squeaking noise besides a random bark here and there, evoked by Chip and/or Dale, and since Chip had that red little nose, maybe we should consider moving you to the red planet, Mars and see if that reduces the chances due to a different gravitational pull on your abdomen.

Wait...I think I forgot to carry the one!

My dear, you have always been one to defy the odds. I see no reason why this should be any different. that WIMP is irrelevant to your equation.

Spencer Douglas said...

I know what I just said was a little irrelevant to your posting as well.

I love you, and your comments crack me up. Thanks for that.

Tracey said...

I just found your blog and enjoyed reading through the entire thing. Thank you so much for sharing your ups and downs.

My father is in stage 3-b colorectal cancer. They had to stop his post surgical chemo last week because he became too sick.

We worry every day and I feel so helpless/useless sometimes. Searching the internet and reading people's stories bring me comfort and make me feel like we're not alone. We're all fighting the battle.

Cancer be gone! I'm sending you my good vibrations. Hugs to you and your cute puppy!

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