Tuesday, July 17, 2007

"Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

For your next sensitivity training seminar: How *not* to respond when someone tells you they have cancer.

Me: I just finished chemo for cancer.
Well-Intentioned Man on Phone (W.I.M.P.): Oh, I'm so sorry. My dad died of cancer.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm only 34, so I'm hoping that doesn't happen.
W.I.M.P.: Wow! You're young!
Me: Yes, I know.
W.I.M.P. : I hope you'll be okay.
Me: Thanks.

In case any of you out there are unaware, I already know that people die of cancer. In fact, I plugged in my details to an algorithm on the Internet and I know that I have a 17% chance of dying of cancer in the next five years. So, next time you run into someone who tells you of their diagnosis, perhaps your father's death is not the most comforting thing you could mention.

Just a suggestion, of course. ;-)


ed said...

You rock. Really. :)

Anonymous said...

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

This is a very inspirational exchange, buried within the humor of the moment and the entire movie. We need to live life fully, through all the tragicomedy it sends our way.

Spencer Douglas said...

so let's see...

17% is half of 34, which is your age, so that means you have half the chance of that 17%, or 8.5%, which is the number of planets in our solar system, since Pluto is no longer a full-fledged planet, and since Pluto was the only Disney character that couldn't talk, or at least utter some squeaking noise besides a random bark here and there, evoked by Chip and/or Dale, and since Chip had that red little nose, maybe we should consider moving you to the red planet, Mars and see if that reduces the chances due to a different gravitational pull on your abdomen.

Wait...I think I forgot to carry the one!

My dear, you have always been one to defy the odds. I see no reason why this should be any different. that WIMP is irrelevant to your equation.

Spencer Douglas said...

I know what I just said was a little irrelevant to your posting as well.

I love you, and your comments crack me up. Thanks for that.

Tracey said...

I just found your blog and enjoyed reading through the entire thing. Thank you so much for sharing your ups and downs.

My father is in stage 3-b colorectal cancer. They had to stop his post surgical chemo last week because he became too sick.

We worry every day and I feel so helpless/useless sometimes. Searching the internet and reading people's stories bring me comfort and make me feel like we're not alone. We're all fighting the battle.

Cancer be gone! I'm sending you my good vibrations. Hugs to you and your cute puppy!

Anonymous said...

croatian chicago singles [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]tv ts personals[/url] wealthydating websites http://loveepicentre.com/ asian personals chicago

Anonymous said...

buy cheap prescription drug pravachol [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/faq.htm]no prescription pharmacies[/url] generic host proces http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/lukol.htm los montesinos health centre telephone number http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/coumadin.htm
and medical indonesia [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/evista.htm]evista[/url] vitamin use [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/glucophage.htm]joseph p addabbo family health center[/url]

Anonymous said...

legs achy when sleeping but fine when walking [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/ayurslim.htm]ayurslim[/url] smoking cessation and older and elderly http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-diabetico.htm american medical scientific instruments http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/atarax.htm
medical oxygen [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/plavix.htm]plavix[/url] black threads and vaginal itching [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/tegretol.htm]drug court georgia[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://online-health.in/azithromycin/answers-for-azithromycin-coagulation-and-storage]drug treatment for nurses[/url] drug online store ultram [url=http://online-health.in/avandia/diabetes-drug-and-avandia]diabetes drug and avandia[/url]
drugs thyroid monthly http://online-health.in/arrhythmias/sinus-arrhythmias
[url=http://online-health.in/bentyl/bentyl-prn]different ways to pass drug tests[/url] no donut hole medicare drug supplement [url=http://online-health.in/ashwagandha/ashwagandha-side-effects]ashwagandha side effects[/url]
kansas board of pharmacy http://online-health.in/antabuse/side-effects-of-antabuse
[url=http://online-health.in/benazepril/benazepril-medicinedrug-company-made-by]generic viagra in uk[/url] examples of drug mistakes [url=http://online-health.in/azithromycin/answers-for-azithromycin-and-storage]answers for azithromycin and storage[/url] langley afb pharmacy formulary [url=http://online-health.in/baclofen/how-does-baclofen-work]how does baclofen work[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://meen.in/fexofenadine/direction-for-allegra-fexofenadine-hcl-oral-suspension]use levitra[/url] levitra link move to [url=http://meen.in/flonase/flonase-levitra-metrogel-metrogel-myonlinemeds-biz]flonase levitra metrogel metrogel myonlinemeds biz[/url]
pharmacy recomendation sites http://meen.in/fenofibrate/how-does-fenofibrate-work
[url=http://meen.in/famciclovir/famciclovir-cold-sores]wsu pharmacy and current students[/url] physical problems associated with erectile dysfunction [url=http://meen.in/clarinex/clarinex-5-mg-equivalent-brand]clarinex 5 mg equivalent brand[/url]
drug you can give a dog http://meen.in/fenofibrate/fenofibrate-atorvastatin
[url=http://meen.in/felodipine/advantages-of-felodipine-over-amlodipine]erectile dyfunctuion[/url] new york drug laws [url=http://meen.in/fda/fda-approved-available-only-in-canada]fda approved available only in canada[/url] drugs and the 60s [url=http://meen.in/celadrin/celadrin-chemistry]celadrin chemistry[/url]

Anonymous said...

fusion automobile http://autoexpress.in/maybach/maybach/tank volkswagen ted kennedy
[url=http://autoexpress.in/buell/buell/instrument/lubricant/msds]automobile race track designer bill moss[/url] volkswagen dealerships in birmingham alabama [url=http://autoexpress.in/rover/land/rover/accessories]land rover accessories[/url]
ny auto club http://autoexpress.in/panoz/panoz/building
[url=http://autoexpress.in/pontiac/mall/pgm/fuse/2002/pontiac/bonnevillie]fox 8 idol contest car showcleveland auto show[/url] volkswagen tuner [url=http://autoexpress.in/opel/opel/speedster/price]opel speedster price[/url]
dodge ram 1500 specifications http://autoexpress.in/peugeot/peugeot/motocycles
[url=http://autoexpress.in/buick/dorschel/buick/toyota/rochester]hires auto repair[/url] hafc auto [url=http://autoexpress.in/rover/red/rovers/rover/p6/for/sale]red rovers rover p6 for sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

cheap travel search engines http://greatadventures.in/map/washington-dc-zoo-map luxembourg travel guide
[url=http://greatadventures.in/cruises/princess-cruises-sapphire]travel ask[/url] discovery travel channel [url=http://greatadventures.in/disneyland/disneyland-sweepstakes]disneyland sweepstakes[/url]
cheap discount airline travel ticket iv http://greatadventures.in/flight/peter-pans-flight-information
[url=http://greatadventures.in/tourist/twin-pines-tourist-park-paihai]amber travel portland[/url] hokkaido japan travel guide [url=http://greatadventures.in/inn/foxfire-inn]foxfire inn[/url]
london city travel guide http://greatadventures.in/adventure/adventure-quest-shop-hacks cheap family travel insuance [url=http://greatadventures.in/travel/europe-car-travel-services]europe car travel services[/url]

Anonymous said...

wittner shoes http://topcitystyle.com/takeshy-kurosawa-t-shirt-for-men-white-item2031.html remove wax from clothes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/white-with-pink-flowers-women-color143.html]maxim fashion[/url] star brand shoes
http://topcitystyle.com/takeshy-kurosawa-t-shirt-for-men-black-item1987.html crazy shoes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/white-blue-v-neck-color55.html]giada de laurentis[/url]

Anonymous said...

ed powers creampies adult videos http://theporncollection.in/gay-anal/gay-night-club-nj
[url=http://theporncollection.in/gay-male/gay-teenager-video]slippery stuff lubricant[/url] sexy silhoutee [url=http://theporncollection.in/mature-woman/vanessa-mature]vanessa mature[/url]
ruroni kenshin hentai http://theporncollection.in/gay-male/gay-pride-nottingham-2008
[url=http://theporncollection.in/lesbian-xxx/sexiest-lesbian-foot-worship]adult video sharing harpoon[/url] free hentai rape game [url=http://theporncollection.in/gay-movie/the-office-gay-witch-hunt]the office gay witch hunt[/url]
greek girls sexy http://theporncollection.in/lesbian-xxx/lesbian-pregnancy
[url=http://theporncollection.in/orgy/celbrity-orgy-password]girls wearing sexy sneakers[/url] sexy young women with old men [url=http://theporncollection.in/mature-woman]mature woman[/url]
foot licking hentai http://theporncollection.in/mature-xxx/hot-mature-gallery
[url=http://theporncollection.in/gay-anal/which-backstreet-boy-is-gay-weird-al]free extreme teen porn[/url] tv adult porn [url=http://theporncollection.in/lesbian-sex/lesbian-masterbaion]lesbian masterbaion[/url]

Anonymous said...

maison plaisir hentai http://xwe.in/bondage/bondage-fellatio
[url=http://xwe.in/fetish/guillotine-fetish-bdsm]macy from her first anal sex[/url] adult contents free [url=http://xwe.in/ass-video/twat-ass-xxx]twat ass xxx[/url]
latina granny porn http://xwe.in/teen-ass/tight-ass-thongs
[url=http://xwe.in/shemales/shemales-blowjobs]p 80 lubricant[/url] viginal lubricant [url=http://xwe.in/girl-anal/elmer-fist-anal]elmer fist anal[/url]
motorize dildo http://xwe.in/erotic-gay/classic-beeline-erotic-stories
[url=http://xwe.in/toon/toon-diaper-sex]adult massage in newcastle[/url] adult ages 20 30 group hiking whitewater rafting north carolina [url=http://xwe.in/thongs/skimpy-thongs-teens]skimpy thongs teens[/url]
how to determine the sex of an adult chicken http://xwe.in/fetish/fetish-japan-love-boots
[url=http://xwe.in/shemales/marge-attacks-shemales]wet platinum lubricant[/url] japanese adult videos free [url=http://xwe.in/orgasm/how-to-make-my-girlfriend-orgasm]how to make my girlfriend orgasm[/url]