I think this line is mostly filler.

Attention World: Scout is the most awesome human being. Like, ever.

Last weekend Scout spirited me away to a secret event at an undisclosed location. It was all secrety and surprisey. He had bought tickets months ago and I had agreed not to snoop on the internet to find out what the big secret could have been.

And what was it? Tell! What? Where? Who?

Turns out there was a reunion of (most) of the cast and production team of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer complete with a screening of "Once More, With Feeling". Woo Hoo! We got to see the musical episode on a big movie screen and then hear Joss, Sarah, James, Nicholas, Seth, Charisma, etc talk all about all things Buffy. It was super cool.

And I *still* get all teary at the look on Willow's face when Buffy reveals that she had been in heaven.

Note: for those of you that are not Buffy fans, this will probably make no sense to you. You should remedy that, as soon as possible.

What's the gift return policy on this thing?

I have an admission to make. I feel like a bit of a traitor in saying this, but here goes:

Cancer was not a gift.

I don't get it. Maybe I missed the enlightenment gravy train. Maybe I'd already realized that corporate jobs suck the life out of you and that love and friendship are more important than money and that you should try to laugh at least once a day. I knew all that long before cancer. I also knew that there is a beautiful balance in life between joy and pain, grief and laughter. That all things have their place in this complex and stunning universe. So what am I missing? I don't see cancer as a gift because I've known all these things for years. Am I missing a key ingredient? Do I need a teaspoon of existential baking powder to make it all come together?

It makes me feel like some sort of curmudgeon. Like I'm too pessimistic to see the rightful glory of cancer. But perhaps it's just that I'd already learned the life lessons that others often get from cancer.

Still, I'd like *some* sort of gift from cancer. It could've at least sent a fruit cake.

I've figured out the best tax secret! Ever!

I just finished doing my taxes and I wanted to let you in on a little secret.

Shhh. Come close.

Closer...

Closer.......

Ready?

If your medical expenses are greater than your income, you don't have to pay any taxes!

Who knew? All these years I've been trying to be a productive member of society when I should have been developing an annual medical catastrophe! Whew! It's so nice to be free of those capitalist shackles.

I'm gonna go on permavacation!

Does anyone know where I can find the nearest leper colony? Is Molokai still a colony? Seems like a nice place to visit this time of year.


(p.s. I mean no offense to my leper audience. Without lepers, we would never have had Che Guevara. And without Che, my dad wouldn't have had a flag to put in his study.)

Movin' on up

We are now the proud owners of an SUV. I think that makes us d.i.n.k.s. Except that we're middle class. Can you be a d.i.n.k. if your double income is less than one average corporate salary?

Also - I fixed my cat's chronic poopin' and barfin' with some voodoo magic I've learned. But more on that later...