Tuesday, May 15, 2007

If...I ...can...just make it....Argh!

Finally feeling well enough to post after my chemo on Friday. I still can't believe I only have one more.

I'm starting to have mixed feelings about it. I've been warned by other cancer peeps that this happens - I won't have anything actively fighting the cancer anymore. No chemo, no surgery. It will just be in there, doing its thing. And I don't know if "its thing" is dying a horrible death due to my immune system or multiplying like crazy and having a party in my pancreas.

I think the unknown may be the scariest part of all this. The loss of control from not knowing seems like it will be all consuming. But, I will have to learn to come to terms with it. Just like I've come to terms with a million other things in the last year that seemed insurmountable. With time, this too shall pass.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have made it...to the beginning of a new phase. We will be with you through this one too. YEAH chemo is almost done. What is the appopriate last day chemo treatment gift?