Shopping

Somehow cancer has turned on my shopping gene. I've never really been a big shopaholic. In fact, I've always kind of hated shopping. Hate malls, hate chain stores. I really would rather have stuff just magically appear on my doorstep. Look.... Milk! Pants! A playstation!

However, I find myself spending small amounts of cash on what we Americans call "Luxury Items". A label maker, a nintendo ds, a new cell phone (free with 2-yr plan renewal!), lots of sweatpants, microwaveable warming mittens.... the list goes on. Now, I have very little cash to spend on these items since I'm not working, so nothing is really more than $10 a pop, yet I can't seem to stop. Some of it it internet boredom shopping, but why not just watch more cheesy movies or knit or write this damn book I'm supposed to finish during chemo?

I think there's a genetic connection between my cancer and shopping. Maybe the uninhibited growth of cancer cells makes me want to shop with no inhibition. Maybe it's the whole "life is short" thing that you get when you have a potentially deadly disease. Maybe I'm just reaching for anything that comforts me and takes away the fear, just for a minute.

Just for one minute.